I stumbled across this book as I was searching for something to read. The title got my attention and I read a couple reviews with no spoilers. Most of them said that it was a no brainer but entertaining. So, I got the pdf for it because I decided that I was not going to waste money on it and there's no spanish nor english version in Mexico.
A Girl's Guide to Vampires is the first of 7 books on the Dark Ones Series. Written by Katie MacAllister and published on 2003.
I'm going to do things a little bit different this time. I won't talk about the plot or the story, I am going straight to the review because I actually HATED this book. There are so many reasons why that I don't even know where to begin. First, I couldn't really understand what was going on on the story because the jumps between scenarios weren't really clear. The characters were completely underdeveloped.
Joyful, yes Joyful, the main character narrates the story. We do not know much about her, we do not know her exact age ( I think she is 24 years old because that is the age of her best friend and they've known each other from kinder garten), we do not know where she works, we do not know anything about her family, background or how she looks. We get to know that she is more on the chubby side somewhere in the book when the main male character carries her to her room after she passes out after having a vision sent to her by a vampire. She says something about how she is to heavy to be carried and of course the stud replies by saying that she is just perfect.
Roxy, her best friend and side kick, is a virgin obsessed with sex who is a huge fan of some vampires series and truly believes that they exist. That's why they go to the Czech Republic, to find vampires. Of course, Joy does not believe in them.
Raphael is the main male character, he is mysterious, he is extremely handsome, he is strong, he likes Joyful from the first time he sees her and decides that he is going to marry her because one of his family's traditions is that the men in the family know the woman they are going to marry at first sight. Oh yeah! He is incredibly well endowed, he only uses extra-large condoms. How about that? Ms. MacAlister must think that we, the girls, are looking for a man with a big... part and that's what she gave us.
Christian, the vampire of the story, happens to be the author of the books Roxy is obsessed with and is completely in love with Joyful. He thinks she is his Beloved and he is who sends all those visions to Joy. To let her know that he has marked her.
It took me so much to read this book, I was really trying to get through it. I'm not the type of person who closes a book without giving it a chance so I fought to get to the end of it. I truly felt that I was reading a fan fiction written by a 16 year old. The writing was horrible and the plot did not make sense. I found myself jumping long parragraphs until I would find some dialogue because I knew I wouldn't lose anything in between.
It is not funny, even though MacAlister really tries, is boring and some jokes made me roll my eyes. Actuall, I found some jokes horrible like Joy talking about mother advice during sex. I just think bringing your mother up during sex is gross. My humble opinion.
Roxy gave me a headache and to me is one of the most annoying characters I have ever read in my entire life. Joyful is a diva that suddenly, in the middle of a Gothfair, she is the object of desire of every man in sight. There are fights between guys over her, there are fights between girls over their men who are drooling over Joy and in the end she ends up wit Raphael. She ends up with a human! MacAlister wrote a vampire story only to leave the heroine paired up with a human.
Even though the story seems to be the first fan fiction written by a 14 year old, a bad one, the sex scenes do not apply to that age. I think that the sex scenes were more developed than the characters and the plot. Seems that the plot was an excuse to write the sex scenes. So, I do not recomend this reading for young kids. Actually, I do not recomend this book to anyone but especially for kids.
In the end this book gets a -2 in the scale 0-10. I wouldn't waste one dime on it and probably shouldn't you. I still think that maybe, jut maybe, since it was MacAlister's first novel it is a really bad one and the next ones might just improve. I mean it is a series of 7 books and the 8th one is on it's way ( this november). So, I might download the second book give it a shot through the first pages and if it seems to be the same thing as this one delete it and never, ever, go anywhere near this series.
Have a Fangtastic Tale
A Girl's Guide to Vampires is the first of 7 books on the Dark Ones Series. Written by Katie MacAllister and published on 2003.
I'm going to do things a little bit different this time. I won't talk about the plot or the story, I am going straight to the review because I actually HATED this book. There are so many reasons why that I don't even know where to begin. First, I couldn't really understand what was going on on the story because the jumps between scenarios weren't really clear. The characters were completely underdeveloped.
Joyful, yes Joyful, the main character narrates the story. We do not know much about her, we do not know her exact age ( I think she is 24 years old because that is the age of her best friend and they've known each other from kinder garten), we do not know where she works, we do not know anything about her family, background or how she looks. We get to know that she is more on the chubby side somewhere in the book when the main male character carries her to her room after she passes out after having a vision sent to her by a vampire. She says something about how she is to heavy to be carried and of course the stud replies by saying that she is just perfect.
Roxy, her best friend and side kick, is a virgin obsessed with sex who is a huge fan of some vampires series and truly believes that they exist. That's why they go to the Czech Republic, to find vampires. Of course, Joy does not believe in them.
Raphael is the main male character, he is mysterious, he is extremely handsome, he is strong, he likes Joyful from the first time he sees her and decides that he is going to marry her because one of his family's traditions is that the men in the family know the woman they are going to marry at first sight. Oh yeah! He is incredibly well endowed, he only uses extra-large condoms. How about that? Ms. MacAlister must think that we, the girls, are looking for a man with a big... part and that's what she gave us.
Christian, the vampire of the story, happens to be the author of the books Roxy is obsessed with and is completely in love with Joyful. He thinks she is his Beloved and he is who sends all those visions to Joy. To let her know that he has marked her.
It took me so much to read this book, I was really trying to get through it. I'm not the type of person who closes a book without giving it a chance so I fought to get to the end of it. I truly felt that I was reading a fan fiction written by a 16 year old. The writing was horrible and the plot did not make sense. I found myself jumping long parragraphs until I would find some dialogue because I knew I wouldn't lose anything in between.
It is not funny, even though MacAlister really tries, is boring and some jokes made me roll my eyes. Actuall, I found some jokes horrible like Joy talking about mother advice during sex. I just think bringing your mother up during sex is gross. My humble opinion.
Roxy gave me a headache and to me is one of the most annoying characters I have ever read in my entire life. Joyful is a diva that suddenly, in the middle of a Gothfair, she is the object of desire of every man in sight. There are fights between guys over her, there are fights between girls over their men who are drooling over Joy and in the end she ends up wit Raphael. She ends up with a human! MacAlister wrote a vampire story only to leave the heroine paired up with a human.
Even though the story seems to be the first fan fiction written by a 14 year old, a bad one, the sex scenes do not apply to that age. I think that the sex scenes were more developed than the characters and the plot. Seems that the plot was an excuse to write the sex scenes. So, I do not recomend this reading for young kids. Actually, I do not recomend this book to anyone but especially for kids.
In the end this book gets a -2 in the scale 0-10. I wouldn't waste one dime on it and probably shouldn't you. I still think that maybe, jut maybe, since it was MacAlister's first novel it is a really bad one and the next ones might just improve. I mean it is a series of 7 books and the 8th one is on it's way ( this november). So, I might download the second book give it a shot through the first pages and if it seems to be the same thing as this one delete it and never, ever, go anywhere near this series.
Have a Fangtastic Tale
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